I have really held off posting for a bit, mostly because I haven't had anything to post about, but partly because I have been so ANNOYED. I really hate posting about things that are "downers," but unfortunately, I need some serious advice from my friends in blogland. Lets cut to the chase. A certain little five year old, by way of discretion we'll say her name rhymes with "Rally," has had a little problem with lying. Ok, a BIG problem. We're talking EVERYTHING that comes out of her mouth is a lie! She doesn't just lie when it favors her, but she lies just for the sake of making something up. I try to explain to her that it is wrong, and that it makes people sad to know that she didn't tell the truth, but she just doesn't get it! It's like the more we try to teach her, the more she lies! Is this normal for a 5 year old? Is it just a phase? Am I doing something wrong as a parent? Aaaaaaaaaah! Sometimes it just makes me want to scream! Sorry for the negative post, but I am losing my freaking mind! Now, tell me what to do.
May 21, 2008
Pants on Fire!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
9 comments:
Oh, you mean like when you and Jason broke up last week? lol My kids do sometimes but it is always to get out of something. Loss of a privilege or whatever favorite toy they have at the moment is usually enough to curb it for awhile though. I bet she is just trying to get attention with Spencer being around. I think it will pass sooner than later when she is more adjusted to another sibling.
I agree with the above comment. Usually they lie when they want attention, or to avoid a consequence e.g. yes, I cleaned up my room (I just threw it on the closet floor, but the "room" is clean) I tried telling K about the boy who cried wolf, and all he said at the end of the lesson was, I don't know why you're telling me this story, I've never lied about a wolf. I do have a good FHE lesson on lying if you're interested entitled the lie monster. I pull it out every now and again, just as a reminder. Best of luck, and I'm certain it's not caused by bad parenting, so take a deep breath and keep on truckin'.
Try "delayed honesty." I used to teach this concept when I taught parenting classes. It's a way of giving your child some non-confrontational time to think about the consequences of lying rather than just responding off the cuff. Let's say you found out she lied about something. You could go to her and say something like "I'm going to ask you a question, but I don't want you to answer right now. I'll have you answer in a minute or two. It's important to me that you tell the truth so I want you to think it over before you answer. I want to be able to always trust you. So here's the question: ____. Don't answer yet. I'll leave you alone and come back in a few minutes." Let her think it over, then go back and ask for the response. With a little luck, you should get an honest answer because you've taken the confrontational nature out of the dialogue...and that is SUCH a big deal for kids. When she does tell you the truth, make sure you praise her plenty for her honesty. You can still give a consequence for what she did wrong, if it warrants one, but make sure she knows just how important honesty is to you.
And if this doesn't work --if she doesn't tell the truth still-- don't give up on the technique. At the very least you know she's had time to think about the consequences of dishonesty.
Haven't dealt with THIS yet, Jenna's still young although she does lie when I ask her if she has a dirty diaper "No, mommy." SORRY but the evidence is RIGHT THERE! But that's great advice you've gotten so far I will remember that... but I do have words of comfort, my friend growing up (we became friends when I was 4) lied ALL THE TIME too, and she has turned out perfectly normal, and we're still friends. So there is still hope... :)
Kendall does this a lot too. It's funny whenever we hear Tyler crying, Kendall will come and run to us and say, "I didn't hit Tyler." Then Tyler comes to us and says, "Kendall hit me." Who do we believe? There was a time when Kendall didn't know he COULD lie...he used to think we "knew" everything. It is a difficult thing. I can sympathize...
There are a couple of people who know but I don't think it has really registered or something. Erika knows and threatens to out me :) I have been playing since I was 7, kinda out of practice with no piano but I can hold my own still. I would have gotten one earlier but they are so expensive! And now with my mom offering me hers I would rather wait another year or so than pay for one. Hard though because I am pretty impatient :)
What is there to worry about? She's not lying, she's just improving the truth. Nothing wrong with that. Obviously she has a good understanding that life is not always lived in the black or white, but well lived in the grey. It leaves for a lot less explaining. Try that one out and let me know how it works for ya! (LOL) P.S. Give Kristi a shout out for me, and tell her I want access to her blog so that I can stalk her.)
honestly I think it is just the age. Jackson has started lying about everything too. We have told him that if he tells us the truth then he won't get in trouble-not matter how bad the truth is. If he lies he's in for it. We are mean and do lots of soap in the mouth and spankings on bare butt. He is getting a little better but it's still annoying as heck! good luck-isn't parenting awesome?!!!
Those are some awesome comments...I really like missy's, I never would have thought about that! I'm just glad we aren't there yet.
Post a Comment